Orchid spotters are well – though not widely – known as a grave danger on our roads. That ubiquitous “Baby of Board” seen on the back of many cars is really quite ineffective and were it to be replaced by “Orchid Spotter on Board” our roads would be far safer. We see the “Baby of Board” notice and, though it may be an appeal for us to drive carefully for the sake of that car’s young passenger, it doesn’t quite catch other drivers’ attention for, after all, a child on board poses little or no threat to other road users. On the other hand, “Orchid Spotter on Board” suggests that an obsessive nutcase is driving – or, at least, distracting the driver – and that sudden, unexpected, erratic, even dangerous, manoeuvres are quite likely.
Let me explain, for I have recently gained admission to that group – Orchid Spotters Unleashed. When we travel together during orchid season, May and June of each year, my wife now insists on driving with the kind suggestion that she is so doing that I might be free to scan the roadside verges. We both know that she does this for safety reasons but after nearly forty years of marriage we can both live comfortably with the pretence of kindness – it is less contentious. The sight of an orchid on the road verge – that deliciously rich purple of the Western Marsh Orchid, for example, – can not only take the orchid spotter’s eye off the road but can also, for obvious reasons, take the car off the road also so it really is best if the orchid spotter is not the one holding the steering wheel. Do notice that I didn’t say such person was “in control” of the steering wheel; holding the wheel while scanning the verges is not quite conducive to road safety.
Even with the safety driver in place an outburst of “Look, Western Marsh, pull over” can be a challenge to the most careful of drivers especially when it comes on a narrow winding road with no hard shoulder south of Ennistymon or that clump on the bend outside Pallasgreen. The orchid spotter was anxious to investigate and photograph while the driver was concerned with lesser matters, such as the preservation of life and limb.
I am not the only such Orchid Spotter. A friend sent on a photograph today of a beautiful form of the Bee Orchid – quite uncommon in its usual form but a divine rarity in the pale form he found today – spotted as he drove along the road and he felt “compelled” to swing the car around to have a closer look. He, the car and the orchid survived though I do recommend he bring his safety driver along in future though, thinking of it now, it may be the case – as he is a fully fledged Orchid Spotter, not just a novice as I am – that, perhaps, his safety driver has simply had too many scares, has a strong desire to live a quieter and less dangerous life and is no longer willing to endure the stresses and strains of the position. Good and devoted safety drivers are hard to come by.
A friend travelling in France at present posted some photographs today of a similar roadside stop to view the roadside orchids. Pyramidal Orchids on the roadside were her distraction but, thankfully, the attraction was navigated and enjoyed safely. However, it does show that this is an international phenomenon and there may be need to translate my suggested “Orchid Spotter on Board”.
Do drive carefully and be aware of this special group of people on our roads at the moment!
Paddy Tobin
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Paddy Tobin, An Irish Gardener 
I let my wife drive all the time ,though we do”nt always stop when I want . A man with a 99 can be equally erratic !
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Such a statement is generally classified as “rationalising”, John. LOL
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